The House Wins Big in Vegas

By The GrandonGang – Las Vegas Team Reporter

Las Vegas – (5 February 2001) — What a club the Las Vegas Outlaws are. What heart. So many players more than just diamonds in the rough. And now they can use a spade to bury the once highly touted, now heavily routed NY/NJ Hitmen. No cherries on the slots for the Hitmen; they spun the roulette wheel and it came up “0”. The house wins in Vegas.

Ok, OK, enough gambling analogies. Everyone saw the game on TV so you already know that the Outlaws rocked and the Hitmen sucked in the XFL debut. Other than the Hitmen’s Wheeler, apparently an aspiring magician, performing his special “I can actually fit all my hair in the helmet” trick, there wasn’t much excitement to the visitors’ performance as they lost by the largest margin in XFL history. By contrast, the Outlaws were awesome. And the game atmosphere – what an experience.

From the fireworks and the 1000 sq. ft. screen to the Skycam and the gorgeous cheerleaders, the fan experience at the inaugural game was almost beyond description. While watching the Outlaws’ “lights out” defense take care of the Hitmen, we fans were treated to everything from the sight of fans who looked like they should be at an Insane Clown Posse concert instead of a football game, to fan fights in the stands, to female fans dancing so enthusiastically that others had to fight the urge to pull out dollar bills.

Interestingly, it was discovered that the XFL fan has a language all his own. In addition to the common four-letter words used on the field, the XFL fan seems to embrace ones like “beer”, “buns” (as in hot dog) and “nuts” (as in sunflower seeds). And, if you are in need of a phrase to fit all situations, you can use “Truckin’ A, baby” (apparently, in XFL fan-ese, a “tr” is pronounced like a “ph”) like in these conversations overheard at the game:

Q: Wasn’t that a great hit?
A: Truckin’ A, baby!

Q: Don’t the Outlaws look great?
A: Truckin’ A, baby!

Q: Did you see the **** on that girl?(Author’s note: I think he said “mitts” but I didn’t notice anything special about her hands)
A: Truckin’ A, baby!

An informal survey taken after the game showed strong support for the NY/NJ team to change their name but there was a lack of consensus on what it should be. Votes were split between Hitwomen, the letter in the alphabet before “T” followed by “hitmen”, and the Can’tHitmen. But there was overwhelming support and enthusiasm for the performance of the Outlaws, and the performance of the cheerleaders. The fans salute the Las Vegas Outlaws organization for a job well done and look forward to much more excitement as the season unfolds.